Well...its 1 in the morning. The last time I posted was a year and six months ago...and how grateful I am to be back. To say that this last year and six months has been full of sweet, sacred, and tender life impacting experiences, would be an enormous understatement. So...why so long away? I don't really know...but tonight I think I figured out part of that wrestle. When starting this blog, I never wanted to write, just to write. But to always write when it felt time, and with a purpose. I feel and hope this is one of those times. I learned in a very profound way that God gives us experiences, just like Nephi was given tools and instruction to build a ship...in perfect time...step by step...building something we cannot do on our own understanding. For Nephi, it was that ship. For me...it is my testimony. I think I have needed to focus on refining the tools He has already given, in order to build on my next step. If you are not sure if God is there...or if He even knows who you are...stop, ask, feel, and remember...He has given you the tools...go deep...dust them off...we can build on this together. ************************************************************************************************************************** This past Sunday we had an incredible lesson on the Ten Lepers found in Luke. I saw that story in a way I never have... As Jesus entered the city of Samaria, there he met 10 men, who's eyes locked onto the Savior. Knowing who he was...knowing the miracles he was capable of performing, they said unto Him, "Jesus, Master, have mercy on us." Jesus heard their pleading, and gave them instruction to go and see the Priest. And as these men heard and acted, they were cleansed. One of those men stopped, saw his new body... felt his spirit healed... and marveled. This man then turned to the Jesus, and with a loud voice glorified Him, and "fell down on his face at His feet, giving him thanks..."
Reading this story, an experience that has happened a couple of times came to my mind. It happens usually around 5:30...you know, right at the hour where life is all over the place and we think we may of left our head somewhere or we realize we've had our shirt on backwards all day but no time to fix it...anyone? Anyway...right around this time for the last few weeks, I have felt a small little arm wrap itself around me and a head full of hair lay on my shoulder. She gives me a little squeeze, smiles...and walks away. She doesn't say a word...but the spirit whispers to both of us one word...grateful. Part of me feels like the other 9 lepers did feel that encircling arm of our Saviors peace when their miracle came. And, I am sure felt grateful. But, I learned from the one last leper, these men missed a step to make that peace... perfect. giving thanks. This principle has hit me in a deep way since. Sometimes it seems as I journey seeking miracles, that journey ends when the miracle comes and peace is felt. When really, the journey isn't over. It really ends with me expressing gratitude by embracing my Savior, and striving to live my life as He did. I am learning only then, true and perfect peace comes. So...Whats that verse in Nephi?? "Liken the scriptures to ourselves?" Welp, here we go! A group of some of the finest women I know and love, are so incredible to join me on a quest for the next 22 days...and your invited to come along with us! Starting November 12th, we are going to be posting attributes of our Savior on our Facebook page, and also on A Freshly Painted Soul Instagram. A scripture/quote and conference talk will be shared. Our deepest hope and prayer is, that as we follow the example of the leper... be still for just a small moment...we will feel our Saviors loving arms around us. And He in turn, will feel our gratitude as we follow Him. Moments with the Savior move mountains.
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It’s been a while! I have found the old adage to be true…absence makes the heart grow fonder…and that is the case with me and this blog... Grateful I was introduced to this new friend. I think He knew I would need her ♡ A few years ago I sat in a room full of women listening to a dear friend testify of the importance of gathering family together during meal times. She compared this to the experience of the great Captain Moroni, as he lead the Nephites in preparing themselves with unprecedented protection, in both physical body armor, and in fortifying their cities against their enemy, the Lamanites. “And Moroni was a strong and mighty man; he was a man of perfect understanding; yea a man that did not delight in the bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom…a man who was firm in his faith of Christ… Moroni had prepared his people with breastplates and with arm-shields, yea and also shields to defend their heads… I remember sitting and watching these words come to life through images she showed, depicting what this all might of been like. I left that experience wanting to be more dedicated in building up my own “banks of earth and walls of stone” around my family to protect them from our enemy…the adversary. As I read on in this experience of Moroni, there came a point when a portion of the Nephite land grew weak. The Lamanites saw this and took advantage. “While in the absence of Moroni on account of some intrigue amongst the Nephites, which caused dissensions amongst them, had gained some ground over the Nephites, yea, insomuch that they had obtained possession…because of iniquity amongst THEMSELVES, yea, because of dissensions and intrigue among THEMSELVES they were placed in the most dangerous circumstances.” Because of “themselves” they were placed in the most dangerous of circumstances. Reading that, immediately my mind went to the physical circumstances…then pondering on that more…what about the mental/spiritual side of such vulnerability? How many times have I fallen into this same snare the Nephites have fallen into? The adversary works just like these Lamanites did. He tempts us to think internally, rather than eternally. Which then leads us to being vulnerable and unprotected. Often times, the adversary has found an unlatched gate into our minds and hearts. He slowly starts opening and making his way in, dumping all kind of thoughts…thoughts of self-doubt and questions of self-worth. Sometimes it feels like the adversary has swung that gate wide open and as hard as you try, you can’t seem to corner him and push him out for good. That feeling is discouraging. It’s frustrating. It’s weakening and perhaps can even seem hopeless. Nevertheless (love that word!), just as we learned the pearl the Nephites were in, we learn the Lord was near and so were the 2,000 stripling warriors and their leader, Helaman! “…they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all- they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted. They were men of truth and soberness…they became now at this period of time also a great support.” Without a single doubt…at those times when I have tried to wrangle the adversary and shut the gate, the Lord reminds me that He’s been there all along. In his perfect timing and tender mercies, He sends me my own 2,000 stripling warriors to help shut out the enemy. Those warriors have come by way of inspired family, a text from a friend, a verse of scripture, a prayer, a phrase in my patriarchal blessing, an opening hymn in Relief Society, words of Prophets and Apostles, a sunset, my temple covenants, the bread and water...and 1,990 other warriors, all lead by our leader, our Savior, Jesus Christ. I have come to realize that by “intriguing in myself,” my spiritual fortifications and armor becomes weak, and the enemy cleverly filters in. Every time I skip a prayer, leave my scriptures unopened, look past other’s needs, and become dormant in covenant keeping…I have left myself unhinged to the gospel and open to the adversary’s intrigue. My prayer tonight...that I may always lock my gate as firmly as Moroni did. “…if all men had been and were, and ever would be like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.” Standing in the foyer of my Stake Center, I greeted women as they gathered for a Stake Women’s Conference. There is nothing more heavenly than watching women gather with women! Towards the end of my time on "greeter duty", a friend of mine walked in the door. A dear friend that I had not seen in almost 15 years. This friend and I were inseparable in high school and were married just within a day of each other. When we locked eyes, I could hardly believe she was standing right in front of me! Being my normal self, I irreverently "screamed", waved my hands in the air, and embraced this friend as if trying to make up for the 15 years gone by. Without a word uttered, we looked at each other, and our eyes filled with tears. We embraced again. In those moments I was kicking myself and asking, why I hadn't made more of an effort to talk to her all these years! I never realized how much I missed her, until opportunity came for our reunion. When I pictured Mary Magdalene going to the Garden Tomb to visit the crucified Savior...only to find him gone, I can only imagine what those first feelings aching in her heart must of been. Worry. Sorrow. Loss. Questions…would I ever see Him again? Would I ever hear His voice again? And then, moments later…a tender and transforming reunion. "...when she had turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away. Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni: which is to say, Master." Turning to her Savior, she beheld this glorious resurrected being. With evidence of nail prints in his hands and feet, she knows. Her Savior has Risen. “The recognition was instantaneous. Her “river of tears became a sea of joy. It was He; he has risen; he lives.” He who has conquered sin and death for our joy and our eternal life. Mary’s reunion was personal, glorious and sacred. I believe that a physical witness of the Savior isn’t required for all to have this same reunion with the Savior as Mary did. Though we have had a vail placed before our minds of the things we experienced in the premortal life, our Father has not left us without ways of making that vail between our life and heaven seem paper thin. One of those gifts, is the gift of prayer. It is the daily opportunity to have our own personal reunion our Savior, Jesus Christ. We are taught in Alma to not only pray once a week at church…but to pray always…everywhere. He IS listening. “…for thou hast heard my prayer, even when I was in the wilderness; I did cry unto thee in my field…and thou did hear me…when I did turn to my house thou didst hear me in my prayer. When I did turn unto my closet, O Lord, and prayed unto thee, thou didst hear me. When they cry unto thee, thou wilt hear them.” (Alma 33:4-8) Maybe at times in our life we are wandering in a wilderness of uncertainty. Maybe we stand in the middle of a field of loneliness. Maybe we are the only ones in our homes praying to God. Perhaps our closets are the only place of peace and refuge from overwhelming lives. In every setting, in every situation and circumstance…he hears you. He has heard me. That reunion with God in prayer can be like Mary’s: glorious and sacred.
I know that on this day, our Savior lives. What happened from the triumphant entry into Jerusalem, the cleansing and teaching done in the temple, the last supper, the suffering for mankind's sin and sorrow in Gethsemane, the nails driven into His perfect body for each and every son and daughter of God, to today…his glorious resurrection... all really did happen. He Lives. Don’t wait 15 years to be reunited. Reunite with Him this very day in this very moment. You will recognize him as Mary did. our “river of tears will be turned into a sea of joy”, in your own, unique and personal prayerful reunion. My memory never really serves me too well, but when it does, I hold on tight. One particular memory is sweet. A memory I hold it close to my heart. In the backyard of my home growing up, my Mom planted around 8 rose bushes under my parents bedroom window. They were beautiful! Roses of all varieties and colors. My favorite…the yellow ones. My Mom loves those roses. And looking back, I think I know why. As the seasons began to change and pruning was in order, our own personal rose whisperer would come and take care of these beloved flowers. The rose whisperer, my Grandfather. He was strong and handsome. He had the most gorgeous silver thick hair, always smelled of delicious aftershave, and LOVED to sweat! An Arizona native…I quickly learned, you could take the boy out of Arizona, but you can’t take the Arizona out of the boy. Grandpa Burke always greeted his “people” with a kiss on the cheek and a hug so tight, you thought your lungs would collapse. I think he loved us almost as much as he loved those rose bushes. In fact, I know he did. Often times I would come home from school, finding my Grandpa Burke’s white Jeep in the driveway and trunk open. I would smile...knowing the exact reason for his visit and a smile in anticipation for the greeting I would soon get. Tools in hand, Grandpa Burke was tending to the rose bushes. He was smiling, sweating a whole lot, singing as he always did, imperfectly perfecting and pruning the rose bushes. He knew of their full potential. He knew of the beauty they would bring in their full bloom. And that they did! It wasn’t unusual, as my Mom and Grandpa worked side by side, for me to be asked to bring out tall glasses of ice cold water and band aids for all the scratches and scrapes left by the thorns on Grandpa Burke’s tan and freckled arms. I always gladly obliged. It was always a wonder to me why my Grandpa would enjoy, tenderly pruning these bushes, time and time again, when the bushes wouldn’t give him the same affection back? For him, a scratch here and there was worth all that effort. The effort to see this end result flourish and spring forth into beautiful and unique roses gave him joy. My Grandpa Burke has been in heaven now for 3 years. While I miss those lung bursting hugs, he has always been near, This week was no different as I studied Alma and the people he taught, the Zoramites, in the Book of Mormon. Alma, his brothers, and two of Alma’s sons, heard about the Zoramites and their twisted ways of worshiping God. So they went to them: “Zoramites were disenters from the Nephites; therefore they had had the word of God preached unto them. But they had fallen into great errors…neither would they observe the performances of the church, to continue in prayer and supplication to God daily…” (Alma 31:8-10) As Alma walked into the city, he saw the fall of once a great people. The people who were wealthy and had much, cast out the poor and the needy. Telling them they couldn’t worship God because of their circumstance. The people came unto Alma asking them what they should do? For they were cast out and had no place to worship. Alma, seeing the lowly state of these people, saw their humility… “Alma heard this, he turned him about, his face immediately towards him, and he beheld them with great joy; for he beheld their afflictions had truly humbled them, and that they were in a preparation to hear the word.” (Alma 32:6) Alma taught these people that because they were humble, they could be taught, they could repent, and the would be blessed. The people, in their own understanding, asked Alma to show them a sign of heaven. Then they would surely believe. Alma says, “Now I ask, is this faith?” No. Alma answered. “Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things, therefore if ye have faith ye hope for the things which are seen, which are true…he imparteth his word by angels unto men, yea, not only men, but women also. "Ye cannot know for their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.” (Alma 32:21,23,26) Faith is not a perfect knowledge. But a hope and trust… How do we obtain faith? Alma teaches us the tools we need: “AWAKE. AROUSE your facilities (kneel in humble prayer), even to experiment upon my words (read and trust in the scriptures), and exercise A PARTICLE of faith (hope), even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire (Spirit) WORK in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.” (Alma 32:27) Alma goes on… “Compare the word to a seed. If ye give it place in your heart, it will begin to swell…” “…it will beginneth to enlighten understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious…Now behold, would not this increase your faith?” (Alma 32:28,29) “But if ye will nourish the word (use the tools), yea nourish the tree, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward, to the fruit (blessings), it shall take root (the promise). (Alma 32:41) Being rooted brings MORE understanding of God’s word. MORE evidence of God’s love in our life, MORE peace, and MORE hope in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Faith gives us more. Times in my life, I have felt like my Grandpas scratched and bruised arms. Sometimes getting through the thorns or deterrents of the world and trials of life, have shifted my focus from pressing forward in faith. I forget about the tools, laying in the grass, ready for us to use for our protection. Each day I have come to know and love the tools given to all of us. As I strive to do my best using these tools, they have kept me focused while nourishing my own unique faith. I pray that I will keep the band aids close. Grandpa dressed each and every wound, took a drink of water, and kept on going. He knew the fruits of his labors would be sweet and beautiful. Grandpa Burke never let a prick of the thorn stop him from pressing forward in diligence. In Elder Jeffery R. Hollands words: “Don't you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying…” With the supply of the everlasting Atonement as our band aids, we must keep tending and cultivating our faith. Use the tools given to all of us. Go forward with hope and diligence,.. just as Alma testified to the Zoramites. As we liken these scriptures, our understanding with flourish, until one day, “it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.” Spring forward in faith. Love,
Grandpa Burke. You wouldn’t think that with 4 little girly girls, I wouldn't have any idea about wrestling. Well my friends I do…leotards and all. Sometimes after a good emotional breakdown, these girls of mine just need to wrestle it out. Work out the kinks and the stress and the frustrations. Take a deep breath, and move on to tomorrow’s hair drama. It’s a good thing. Recovering from a fresh wrestle session with the ladies at home, I was intrigued when I sat in a Women’s Conference and heard Sheri Dew talk about wrestling. Wrestling?! Tell me more, Sheri! I learned that a spiritual wrestle really isn’t all that different from a physical one. Sister Dew defined a “spiritual wrestle” as learning to leverage your strength and your testimony in the Gospel of Jesus Christ when facing questions or troubling times. I think that many times when we have questions, we don’t take what we already do know, our “spiritual leverage”, and use that to build on as the foundation in seeking for answers to our questions. Isn’t that what the basic idea of what a physical wrestle is? Learning to leverage your own strength and experience to take down your opponent? Haven’t we all had a time where we’ve had a spiritual wrestle with God in some shape or form? What about questions? Sister Dew taught that questions are good! Questions give you permission to EXPLORE the Gospel using CORRECT and TRUE resources. Prayer, scriptures, teachings of Prophets and Apostles, and Temple work… A spiritual wrestle facilitates growth. Two examples she shared:
Nephi and Joseph both used their spiritual leverage and went to our “coach”, our God, to build on and to overcome any question or concern they had. Sister Dew taught a pattern the Lord uses when we turn to Him first…
When questions or experiences come that cause frustration and tears, those questions really are not about the core of our testimony. They are about appendages to the core. We may only need to be reminded of the plain and precious truths. The fact that the Sacred Grove really is sacred. The fact that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored. The fact that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us unconditionally. That He sent a Savior, Jesus Christ. And, that we have Prophets and Apostles on the earth, to stand on our sidelines with encouragement and love…all while teaching us how to best leverage our OWN spiritual strength to come out victorious. “Questions?” Sister Dew asked, “Don’t doubt the Lord.” “Doubt your doubts…” as our friend, President Uchtdorf would say. Engage in the wrestle. Leverage your strength. Victory comes only through Him. Well, hello there…it’s been too long :) If you live in Utah, you know all too well and have experienced the dreaded February INVERSION. Let me describe this soupy polluted hazy mess to you…or wait maybe I just did! The “inversion” is a lovely brown/ gray cloud of smog that sits over the valley of the gorgeous Wasatch Front for only reasons Kevin Eubank, the weather man, and my husband (wanna be weather man) can explain. If you want my explanation…it’s just yuck and ugly. Sometimes this inversion lingers for just a few days and other times nearly a month. Day after day of this brown-gray hazy blocks all signs that the sky was ever blue and sun really does exist. When the inversion does lay hold, you find people in the valley, escaping or dreaming of escaping to a higher ground and FINALLY take in some of that GOOD CLEAN fresh mountain air. We were some of those escapers. My kids are “off track” from school and so now was a better time than ever to run for the hills! I packed the little chicks into the car with skis and snacks in tow. We made our way through the brown valley, to the mouth of the canyon to make our assent. Every mile we drove up that canyon, the sky became a little less brown and a little more blue until all of the sudden you were smooched on the cheek by the big blue glorious sky that radiated a color Crayola couldn’t even come up with a name for. As we drove through the canyon, everything was so crisp and clear. It was amazing to me that while I have seen this same blue sky my entire life and have felt that same warmth of the sun fill my body time and time again, this time felt like the first time. A new and deeper love for my earth and its Creator filled my soul. When we reached the ski resort, I sent Thing 2 and Thing 3 (pour Thing 1...we left her behind to get an education) off to fill their need for speed down the slopes, while Thing 4 and I went to the gorgeous Lodge to play, paint, and of course, eat Cheese-Its. Why wasn’t I skiing you ask…well, let’s just say it’s hard to teach this old dog new tricks. We found a lovely table right by the window. As we sat down, I looked out and was overcome at the beauty and clarity in every detail of my view. It was a perfect way to spend a day. Time passed, and our day was coming to a close when Thing 4 and I packed up our stuff, and went outside to watch the girls do a few last “ariels” off the bunny hill. With a small smile on my face, I closed my eyes for a moment. Took a deep breath and opened myself to the warmth of the sun to fill me up. Hoping that would hold me over until spring comes. Later than evening I was thinking about another good day we had experienced just a few days prior. Some of my girls and I met up with their Grammy and some aunties and cousins to go through the Provo City Center Temple. BTW…if you haven’t read the history and how this temple came to be, read here. One of the most striking aspects of that temple, for me, was the windows. They are beautiful. The rich detail of the encased moldings, their sheer height and breath-taking arched tops, and the vibrant colors in the stained glass…each and every detail executed with perfection. Taking it all in, I turned the corner and entered one of the gorgeous main ordinance rooms. As I slowly walked through this sacred room, the light from the windows seemed different. It seemed clearer. It was crisper. It was warmer. It seemed like…home. Reflecting in this experience, I realized that just as much as I craved to see the blue sky and warmth of the sun, after living in a brown soup for a week...my soul, our spirits crave even more, the light of Christ and the warmth our covenants found in the Temple of God. I often get bogged down in the day to day, in my own schedule, in the “nice and good” things of life, and especially bogged when the challenging times filter in. For me, when that happens, it’s really difficult to see past that inversion and haze. I am learning it is only when I seek for higher ground and go to the Mountain of the Lord, we can be truly filled by soaking up the light and love of our Savior, Jesus Christ. That’s where the clear perspective lies. In a sacred experience of my own, I have had my eyes opened to the significance of our covenants. The power and protection they provide. The truth they teach. And peace in the possibilities of what we can become when we turn our lives over to Him. Next time I feel like soaking up some sun, I am realizing that more times than not, it is His Son that I really need. Generally, I don’t move very fast. My “mile time” in junior high was in the 12 minute range…Awesome. I know. I have since shaved off a couple of minutes (no really...). BUT. When I recently read how swift (spiritually) Alma was…I decided to try to move a whole lot faster... Alma stood and labored (this isn’t the swift part 😉) with “much spirit”, as he taught a great multitude about their Savior and eternal salvation. He taught about baptism and exhorted them to repent of their stiff-necked ways. As the adversary was working in those people to reject Alma’s words, Alma was working harder as he “wrestled with God in mighty prayer that He would pour out his Spirit” upon the people in the city. Despite the fervent prayers and pleading from Alma, the people’s hearts were too hard to feel the spirit working in them. They proclaimed their doubt in the “foolish traditions” he spoke of...prayer, fasting, repentance, covenant keeping, scripture study…all foolish they thought. The people reviled Alma and spit upon him. Upon a Prophet who genuinely loved and cared for their welfare and happiness. The multitude rebelled against him so much that they caused Alma to leave the city. As Alma left and journeyed to the next city, he described himself as being weighed down with sorry and tribulation. His soul anguished because of the wickedness of this people. As I read these feelings Alma expressed, I felt like in the smallest of ways, I could relate. Alma was heartbroken and rejected. BUT. Alma did not journey alone. The Lord was there. He comforted and encouraged him. And the Lord sent an angel to him, saying: “Blessed art though, Alma; therefore, lift up thy head and rejoice; for thou hast been faithful in keeping the commandments of God from the time which thou receivedst thy first message from him.” Heavens! Can you almost taste the peace and love Alma must of felt? Hearing how pleased God was with him? How God knew of his faithfulness and his strong desire to see God’s will unfold? I am sure Alma never wanted that angel to leave his side…but really…do you think he ever did? Then the angel spoke further… “I am sent to command thee that thou return to the city of Ammonihah and preach again unto the people of the city; yea preach unto them, except they repent the Lord God will destroy them.” Ok. At this point I am thinking, did the angel know what happened when Alma tried to teach? Didn’t he know that Alma was spit upon, reviled, and rebelled against? Didn’t he know how hard the hearts were of these people? And of course, Ashley being who Ashley (slow, and often times, a dweller…) vs. Alma, being the AMAZING Alma, does THIS when hearing the call… “Now it came to pass after Alma had received this message from the angel of the Lord he RETURNED SPEEDILY to the land…” SPEEDILY?! No question to why? No dwelling in the past? No pleading the case of why it might not be a good idea? No. He didn't. So wonderfully, Alma looked ahead and went back and tried again. “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall be fulfilled, whether by mind own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.” The Lord prepared the way for Alma. He prepared a home, food, shelter, and a man, Amulek, to assist him in fulfilling his call from God.
Can’t we all relate to Alma and his experience? Have we ever worked so hard to do the right thing and only in return be rejected or discouraged by people around us? While, we probably aren’t standing in front of multitudes trying to baptize and convert. Maybe for us, its how we are trying our very best to teach our children and raise them to gain their own testimony of the gospel and of God. And, in response, they push back and away. Maybe it’s in the place we work. How we try to be disciples of Him and stand for truth, but are questioned over and over. Or maybe it’s in our callings or the way we are seeking an answer to a prayer, or even discouragement within ourselves. I really believe that Satan uses discouragement to destruct faith. Now. Don’t get me wrong. We all feel discouragement. And that’s okay. BUT. Its how far we let that emotion carry us is the key. Just this last Saturday I heard Sheri Dew speak. Of all the wonderful things she said, this thought hasn’t left my mind… “Don’t doubt the Lord in troubling times, but look at that experience and see what there is to learn.” Alma did that with his discouragement. He went to the Lord in prayer to see what he should do. What was the Lord’s response? Not one of, your not trying hard enough and why didn’t you do this and this and this… The Lords answer was one of love and acknowledgement of how far Alma has come, AND what the Lord will help him do going forward. Trials and hard times in our lives shouldn't change the true foundations of our testimony. They don’t change who God the Father is. It doesn’t change that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer, nor the truth found in the scriptures. What trials and questions do do, is give us the opportunity to grow stronger in our foundations. So…what did I "run away (ha!)" with from Alma’s experience? Communication with God each and every day is vital. Plead with him when you are sad or discouraged, and weighed down. He's there. He will let you know how much He loves, how far you’ve actually come, and the next step to helping you move forward. And when he does…go. swiftly. After refereeing the battle over how to open tubed cinnamon rolls between the two older darlings, I picked up my phone and began my marathon of listening to a scratched and worn out vinyl version of classical music. I waited and waited AND waited for someone to pick up the other end of the phone line. I just needed 4 simple numbers to refill a prescription. That prescription is taken on a set schedule, and I was already 4 days late. Being transferred 4 times to 4 different numbers for 1 simple refill…ugh. It seemed as if no one wanted to help me. Tired, frustrated, and a little worried, I was done. I resolved to try again tomorrow. As I kneeled in prayer that night, I asked my Father in Heaven for peace that I so yearned for. My mind raced to piece together why I felt so defeated and so, well…alone. Then, a quick decision I had made the night before came clear in my mind. I love my sleep. Because of that love, I had decided to just skip a little part of my not so perfect morning “routine”, and get a few extra minutes of shut eye. No big deal right? Little have I ever realized how big of a deal it was… I took twenty extra minutes of sleep over twenty minutes of reading about the faith of Alma. Twenty more minutes of sleep over conversing with my Father in Heaven. “Good Morning, I am here. I am grateful. I am willing. I am able. Will you help me?” I had never asked him for help! That’s what happened. Tears welled up in my tired eyes. It was like a phone was ringing ALL DAY and I was totally spiritually deaf to answer His call. Then a whisper came again…Ashley, it is never to late to ask! So, the next morning I asked for His help and He wasted no time in answering. I dialed the number for my refill. I only listened to that beloved music for a few short minutes, when a woman got on the other line and said, “Thank you for calling. How can I help you today?” I may of smiled a bit. As the call ended and my order was sent in, I put my phone down and paused. Feeling grateful, a blanket of peace held me and a soft whisper of love came to heart. I knew He was there. I knew in the big picture of things, this prescription refill was far from the pressing world events to ever take place. It was ever so tiny. But, our Father knew it was big for me. Interesting enough I had just read in Alma about the Nephites as they prepared to battle the Amlicites. With the number of Amlicites joining forces with the Lamanites, the numbers grew like “sands of the sea” to battle against them. But the Nephites held firm and went forward with confidence because they were prepared. Not only did they arm themselves with weapons in the physical sense, they were also armed with something much stronger. Faith and prayer. They called to God for their protection. For strength. For safety. (Read the full story here) Why shouldn’t I arm myself everyday in that same way? Later that same week, my Stake President shared an experience he witnessed that drove this fact home to me again. In a training meeting on how we can improve the sacredness of our Sabbath day, President Russell M. Nelson was about to go up to the pulpit to speak when he paused for a moment. It seemed as though something had come to his mind. As he approached the microphone, he turned to President Henry B. Eyring, and asked him if there was something he would like to say before they continued. Not planned, President Eyring shared a revelation he received just moments before (from memory...)The Lord was pleased with the efforts we are making to improve and keep our Sabbath day sacred. As we continue to try to be better, let us not forget to ask Him for help. He wants to help. Then I swear, in my mind, Pres. Eyring said, even those Quist people…he can help you get to church early too! Okay, maybe only in my dreams…or not?! ;)
The help line of prayer is open, now…if I could just remember to turn up those spiritual hearing aides! Try it. Just ask. As we watched our girls and their cousins dance the night away at my sister’s wedding reception, one of my lovely sister in law’s was sitting next to me. We starting chatting and admiring those sweet kids. After a few minutes, she asked me, “So Ashley, what are some of your New Year’s resolutions? Ummm…ya. ( just waiting for something profound to come out of my mouth)…I’ve got nothing. The normal goals of losing that extra 10 pounds, being a better mom/wife, trying out new recipes for dinner, and maybe running another race again did cross my mind. But, nothing was settling in as yes…that’s it! Her question kept looming in my mind during our 800 mile drive home and has continued until just this very day…when a thought came. Yes, Ashley. Those goals you set are good and worthwhile. Is there something else? Isn't there something my Father in Heaven desires me to do? With a grateful and full heart…always. I have found in my little not so old life, that the small promptings and desires from Him have not always been received with optimism and positivity. Many times I have doubted my ability or time to fulfill the task or charge at hand (que my time with the Webelos. ;)). But, it’s been in those times where a power greater than myself as taken over and a miraculous experience was unfolded. Take for example Nephi. Nephi, who, with simple obedience, followed his father Lehi and the rest of their family into the WILD-er-ness…not to the beach in Florida. The wilderness. They left everything they had. Everything they knew and took a giant leap of faith forward in doing what was unknown to them, but it was right. Then, once settled and cozy (thank you Sariah) in the WILD-er-ness, Nephi was asked again to do the nearly impossible. Lehi spoke to Nephi and said: “For behold, Laban hath the record of the Jews and also a genealogy of my forefathers, and they are engraven upon plates of brass. Wherefore, the Lord hath commanded me that thou and thy brothers should go unto the house of Laban, and see the records, and bring them down hither into the wilderness.” So Nephi and company was asked to RETURN to Jerusalem (which wasn’t a little walk up the street) and obtain the plates of brass from King Laban. You know, THE Laban who has stolen their property and wants Nephi and his brother’s dead…that Laban. What was Nephi’s charming brother’s reaction? “And now, behold thy brother’s murmur, saying it is a hard thing which I have required of them…” I dare say, I have shared this same sentiment of the brothers when asked to do the unknown. “Ugh…no thanks. Too hard. I’m good. I am sure someone else would be much better.” But in perfect love and patience, Lehi reminds his troubled older sons… “…but behold, I have not required it of them, but it is a commandment of the Lord.” There is a much bigger picture, and Nephi sees it…
So…they go. Nephi and his brothers (some more enthusiastic than others) start their journey in the wilderness. As every good Laman and Lemuel story goes, there is always murmuring. The brothers “cast lots” to see who should ask King Laban first: Lucky Laman! Laman went to the house of Laban and asked for the brass plates… “And behold, it came to pass that Laban was angry, and thrust him out from his presence; and he would not that he should have the records. Wherefore, he said unto him: behold thou art a robber, and I will slay thee." Well, needless to say, Laman ran…and probably pretty fast. He returned to his brothers and told them what had taken place. With a threat of death looming, they were all saddened by what happened and were ready to turn back and go home unsuccessfully. Nephi doesn’t quit. “As the Lord liveth, and as we live, we will not go down unto our father in the wilderness until we have accomplished the thing which the Lord hath commanded us. Wherefore, let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord.” Nephi was DETERMINED and DILIGENT. He never lost sight of the power (aka grace) the Lord pours out on His children when pressing forward to do His will. The Lord would provide the way. This same grace given to Nephi as he confronted King Laban, is the same grace that protected Nephi and his brothers from death, and that ultimately delivered the plates into the hands of Nephi. This exact SAME grace (aka power) pours down on us as we do our best in fulfilling what the Lord asks us to do in our lives. His grace is there as we parent, it’s there as we try to become a better spouse. It’s there as we forgive. It is their as we serve in callings and as we serve friends. It’s there we seek to understand scriptures and the words of our Prophet. It’s all around us. We just need to grasp it.
To you, dear sister in law, I think I can answer your question. Here’s hoping with the courage, resolve and faith of Nephi… 2016 Resolution: Grasp for Grace. ****************************************************************************** want a good read on grace? Try this. Its perfection. I woke up this morning thinking about Mary. Thinking about this heavenly visit she had from one of God’s angels. Delivering to her the news of our Savior and of his birth…through her. “And an angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son and shalt call his name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob forever; and his kingdom there shall be no end. When (...or if) I get to heaven, I want to visit with Mary. I wonder…what were the months like leading up to the birth? Was she busy with her “to do” list before she left for Bethlehem to make sure everything was in order at home? Was she anxious gathering those things she and Joseph took with them on their journey? I wonder, what was she feeling as she rode that donkey on that rough dirt road, about to deliver that tiny baby? I wonder if she got discouraged when Joseph was continually turned away at each and every Inn he came too? I wonder...what her reaction was when she saw the lowly stable, piled with straw and animals around, where she would deliver the Son of God into the world. And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word…” While I sit and “wonder” about Mary and what she may of been doing…Mary, on the other hand, was not thinking about “Mary” at all. She was not thinking about what was left undone back at home. Mary wasn’t caught up in the uncomfortable travel she endured to Bethlehem. Who was Mary? Mary was a handmaid to the Lord. A handmaid. A woman who knew God. A woman who was humble. A woman who focused herself daily on God’s will and not her own. A woman who gave her life to something greater than anything she could ever come up with on her own. She knew the angel proclaimed truth when he said, “ for with God, nothing is impossible.” With that faith and surety, she pressed forward fulfilling her divine potential and mission on earth with a humble confidence and peace that only is found through our Savior, Jesus Christ. Going to bed last night I felt anything but peace. As my mind shouted feelings of overloaded and overwhelmed, I failed to hear the tiny whispers of my own heart, asking my Father for peace. I think God hears our prayers even when we didn’t. My answer came on this Christmas Eve morning… “Who was Mary?” A handmaid to the Lord. A woman who looked to Him first. ********************************************************************************************* Merry Christmas! |