When this venture began in “starting spiritually fresh,” I went shopping…of course! I bought myself my first new set of scriptures since I was 12. The permanent marker highlights that my little darlings drew were adorable but I have always wondered what in the world happened to Nephi! ;) Just Kidding. I also picked up some fancy highlighters and a beautiful handmade notebook (love it) to write down my thoughts. Now, I was set…or so I thought. While my focus was on preparing the physical tools, I quickly realized, while those things were nice, there were two main spiritual tools that were essential for me in building a sure spiritual foundation. Today I will share the first… Tool #1: an OPEN HEART About two years ago, my sweet husband, Mr. Q, and I took our 4 girls, hair brushes, Beenie Boos and Kleenex (for the impending emotional breakdowns) down south to Zion National Park for our Spring Break. What is it about the fresh air, beautiful scenery, the warmth of the sun, and also a perfectly chilled diet soda, as Mr. Q would say, that rejuvenates the soul? Ahhh… On the drive down, Mr. Q replayed one of his most favorite hiking memories as a kid, Angels Landing. He talked of the beauty, heavenly details (in the manliest way of course), and the practical risks (which translated to me as…the SCARY STUFF) in scaling the mountain to the top. As he spoke, I was picturing in my “city girl” mind what it might have been like. It sounded so awesome and at the same time SOOO something I thought I could never accomplish, let alone, want to do. My mind and my heart were closed to the whole idea. The physical toll, the “deadly” drop offs, and on top of that, the early morning hour…Nope. No Thanks. That ship has sailed and the dead bolts to possibility have been engaged. BTW...I am a blast on road trips ;) For the entire drive down I was trying to convince Mr. Q why I couldn’t do it, why I didn’t feel like it, and why that experience was meant for everyone else with cuter hiking boots. I kept slamming the door to an extraordinary experience over and over again. Why? I was afraid. After some good encouragement and the fact that I melt. like. butter. when I look into Mr. Q’s Bear Lake blue eyes, I finally decided to trust him. I decided to open myself up to the idea. Lets be real…I thought I was most likely doing it for him. And as it turned, while it was definitely challenging, Mr. Q was right…again! It was beautiful! The top of the landing really was angelic! The view was clear, crisp, and refreshing. The peace, humility, strength, courage…and a thousand other adjectives that came, were an unexpected gift. To think, the only thing I had to do to receive the gift was to open my heart and trust in the promise. In the Spring of 1820, a young 14 year old boy had the courage to open his heart and heeded these words in his quest for truth: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to men liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given them.” So with faith in what he read, our brother, Joseph Smith, went to a quiet grove of trees and simply prayed. Do you think Joseph could ever imagine what would happen next? … “I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me. It no sooner appreared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—“This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him.” I believe, that while our experience will be different than the Prophet Joseph’s, the invitation from the Father to all of us is the same. “Hear Him.” The answers which we seek are at the door. The real question is, is our heart open to receive our own witness?
Personal revelation, understanding of the scriptures and doctrine of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is possible for all to achieve, not just an elect few with cute hiking boots. I am coming to know this for myself, I just needed to open my heart!
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Remember back in preschool when you biggest worry was what will I bring for show and tell that starts with the letter X, and how many pretzels will I get at snack time? Who am I kidding...I still worry about snack time ;) I also remember one of the first tasks I was given was to paint or color a picture by number. Remember those? Each number was given a corresponding color that you would fill in the number with on the picture. I remember it being so much fun! It was like a little gift that would slowly become unwrapped and then suddenly before you know it, you made yourself a beautiful masterpiece! For me it was Hello Kitty at the park with Snoopy on a gorgeous sunny day. One of my finer works. Some time ago I was reading one of my favorite blogs, NieNie Dialogues by Stephanie Nielson. You may know her story…the incredible plane crash survivor who was burned over 80% of her body, mother of 5 beautiful children and a loving wife that inspires me to enjoy this gift called life. In a recent post, Stephanie had blogged about a family member or a friend had given her a grown-up version of a paint by numbers canvas art. It was of a beautiful scene on their family ranch in New Mexico. It. Was. Awesome! After seeing the end result that took her many hours, along with sore fingers and an achy back, Stephanie had created a masterpiece. It was wonderful. So rich in color and such a labor of love. I was inspired. So… I clicked on the link of the company where I could order my own. I knew that I wanted to paint a sweet picture of my husband and I first home. I loved that home and never wanted to forget it! The day finally arrived and my paint by numbers canvas came. To say that the 43 numbers and their corresponding colors I was to paint, on a very insanely detailed outline of our beloved home and landscape, was hugely overwhelming is a BIG understatement! How in the world was I ever supposed to finish this? I am one of a bazillion "busy" moms. We have 4 darling daughters ranging in the ages of 12-4. I am also a wife to THE sweetest and most patient husband on the planet whom I totally don’t deserve. So, it is with all of us, it goes on and on… Where was I to find the time for me? To do this? Would it be worth it? I can’t even use the restroom without being asked if I can put the Barbie's hair in a pony tail and what the county seats are in alphabetical order! Really... Aside from the overwhelming intimidation to actually begin, I decided that I was going to see it through. I knew I would be thrilled with it in the end. It was going to take me work and time. Days…weeks… maybe even months. Just a few minutes here and a few minutes there. Believe me when I say their was some major self-coaching telling myself that it’s okay to take this time for me. And it was/is. While I am still nowhere near done about 6 weeks later, I have begun to see a little glimpse into what I was creating with the help of the numbers. The different color of greens on the trees, the shades of soothing blue in the sky, the details of shadows cast on the roof by the sun, and to see that red door come to life that my husband and I painted together, is magical and personal. It was something I never could of done on my own. I couldn’t see sitting so close how every little stroke and every little detail was turning out to be something so special and priceless. I could feel my confidence building…ya, maybe I can do this. They key…following my number/color guide.
During this same time in my life of creating something special and unique for my home, I felt myself embarking on something very similar and yet different in the best way imaginable for myself. A cross roads in my life came. Call it a prompting or a deep desire. I felt a deep urge or rather, an invitation, to add a fresh coat of paint to my spiritual self. I felt the spirit ask me so lovingly, once again, and this time, I am heeding with a new level of dedication. It is time to start fresh, time to up my game, and push myself more than ever before in my quest to love, serve and to KNOW…to REALLY know my God and His Son, my Savior, Jesus Christ. I soon found myself promising God that I would “no longer serve two masters…” I promised Him that I would push and strive and dedicate myself to, “…pursue truth and measure all things by the gospel standard. Become educated and refined…to be a student of the scriptures and understand their passages. For if I followed this counsel, they would give me the strength and stability and happiness in my life that I so needed on a more consistant basis.” I have been unknowingly stuck (not the sharpest tool in the drawer) on paint number 1-5 of my spiritual canvas. Not really realizing how vibrant numbers 6, 7, or 8 or heavens, any of those 43 colors are! These colors are available and ready for me to use...to brighten...enlighten...and enhance this canvas. You are invited to join with me on this journey as we build our testimonies on the truth and joy of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We will delve and rediscover the Book of Mormon. Ponder and picture what it must have been like to live in Christ's time and watch the life and mission of our Savior, Jesus Christ unfold. We will learn together how we can heed the direction of our loving Prophet, Apostles, and leaders daily. And finally, share how and support one another in living a joyful life with the Spirit and Gospel as our number/color guide. Sister Sheri Dew inspired me with these words and sacred reminder: Sisters, this is a call to arms, it’s a call to action, a call to arise. A call to arm ourselves with power and with righteousness. A call to rely on the arm of the Lord rather than the arm of flesh. A call to “arise and shine forth, that [our] light may be a standard for the nations” (D&C 115:5). A call to live as women of God so that we and our families may return safely home. As I have strived each day to set aside a small and consistent amount of time to work and see my simple canvas transform, stroke by stroke, into my own sweet and humble masterpiece…so I pray, I will too, on this quest for a freshly painted soul. |